Dear DBS...

July 17, 2018

 

 

Dear DBS, 

I’m planning a Texas wedding while living in another country because my fiancé is Active Duty military, how can we make the transition go smoothly?

 

Rather than trying to coordinate with several different vendors, which will prove very difficult if a time change is involved, our first suggestions is that you simplify your wedding by booking a venue that is somewhat all inclusive, offering linens, chairs, tables, and some sort of standard centerpiece. So many of the premiere vendors featured on our blog offer the above items and even offer DJ services, wedding cake services, and catering services.

 

Most of these all-inclusive venues will have a wide range of options for you to choose from in each category, allowing you to create a wedding that is unique to your personality even from afar. 

 

Our second suggestion, hire a wedding coordinator. We know this tends to be one of our standard answers but planning a wedding from another country would be nearly impossible without having boots on the ground in the town where the wedding will be held. Unless you plan to fly in and try to make all the decisions quickly, especially if you decide to use multiple vendors, it will be invaluable to have someone that can explore the options in person and make many decisions based on your vision. 

 

Dear DBS,

I have a couple transgender friends attending the wedding, but my family is highly transphobic. How do I keep the peace?


Anytime you have a large group of people from different backgrounds there is a potential for disaster. However, keep in mind weddings typically have the power to unify, because all of the guests have at least one thing in common, love for the bride and groom. 

 

We have seen a lot of couples utilize the popularity of signage in order to reinforce values and remind guests of what is important at the event. For instance, couples may have a chalkboard at the ceremony site that reads, “choose a seat, not a side”. You could utilize this same tactic by posting something that points guests toward laying down their biases in order to be present in celebrating with you. 

 

If you are feeling brave, another trend rising in popularity is to host reception games. Fun and laughter tend to transcend bias, and games require team work that often allow those with different backgrounds to collaborate and enjoy each other in a different way than they would have otherwise chosen, after all even adults like to win. 

 

Lastly, if some of the “transphobic” persons you have mentioned are immediate family members or even close friends you can talk to, try opening dialogue before the event. Often times it is fear of the unknown that creates hostility and unwillingness, hence the “phobia”. Many times, education can lead to compassion and the ability to coexist and lovingly agree to disagree on beliefs and values. Maybe even remind them that offering love and respect to someone doesn’t require agreeing with them.  

 

The transgender topic, just like the race topic, often leaves people feeling ignorant and alone, and those feelings almost always lead to the defensive postures we see. Even just a small tutorial on appropriate language can give people more confidence in approaching the issue. 

 

And as far as the conversation with your transgender guests prior to the ceremony, keep them informed of any progress or regress in the above conversations and let them know what you are doing at the ceremony in an effort to keep guests unified. In our experience a little effort goes a long way, your friends will be happy that you have made it a point to try and bridge the gap, which may lead them to be more open at the event rather than on guard. 

 

Lastly, reaffirming for your transgender guests that you want them at your wedding to join in celebration with you can make the entire experience worth it,  no matter what happens. Hopefully, things will go smoothly, but in the event that they do go awry your friends will be able to remember your affirmations and speak that truth to themselves. 

 

Dear DBS,

How do you decide who gets to be on the guest list??

 

Start with your Inner circle: parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends, bridal party members etc..  Then, depending on your venue and budget work your way out from there. 

 

As you get further out you will start listing acquaintances. Once you start hearing yourself say things like “Well, if we invite that couple then we will have to invite their grandmother too” you’ve reached the outer circle. This is the point where you let your budget and venue size start making the decisions.

 

If you don’t have the budget to invite everyone you had hoped, then plan an after party! A less expensive reception can be held upon return from your honeymoon. Bridal showers and couple’s showers can also be helpful. Let people know that your budget or venue can’t accommodate everyone you’d like to invite, so you would love for them to make the shower a priority. 

 

Dear DBS,

Although wedding season is typically the summer months, winter weddings are becoming more desirable due to all the glamorous Pinterest ideas.  What in your expert opinion is the best, most convenient time to conduct a wedding ceremony?

 

When planning a wedding in our region the answer to your question will likely be best determined by whether you would like an indoor or outdoor wedding. If you would like to have an outdoor wedding, May and November are going to be the best months in our opinion. But let’s walk through the pros and cons of each month for education sake.  

 

 You may see a lot of hype about the wedding season being March through April, however the truth is weather during those months is risky! There is typically more rain and unpredictable weather at the end of March and into early April than any other months. Texas also tends to throw curve balls during this time of year with temperatures of 70 degrees turning to 30 degrees overnight. 

 

Although we have mentioned May to be one of our choice months it still comes with its downside. It is often a humid month. 

 

Another thing to keep in mind is that while Spring weddings are beautiful, and everything is in bloom, prices are at their highest and there will be more competition for dates at your favorite venues. 

 

That brings us to the summer months, June through most of September, and even into October in Texas are very hot, however it is very unlikely that your event will be rained out. If you are brave enough to host an outdoor event during these months you can provide fans or misters for guests, and even offer umbrellas for shade and handheld fans as guest favors. We have also seen couples offer customized water bottles during these months.  

 

If you host an indoor wedding, then choosing summer months could actually pay off! Venues often, not always, offer a July -August discount and there may be a little less competition for your preferred wedding date. You will also more than likely still have a wide selection of florals for your bouquets and centerpieces, as floral availably is based on season. 

 

Late September, October, and early November are also very popular wedding months in Texas, with October actually being the biggest month for Texas weddings. We would like to add that although October is the most popular, we believe November actually offers couples the cool weather and autumn leaves they are envisioning. Trust us, we have suffered through many sweaty Halloweens! 

 

When dealing with venues during these popular fall months selecting a non-peak day of the week can help you stay within budget. And bonus, non-peak days will definitely give you more dates to choose from, as weekends book up quickly. 

 

Although these months are perfect for outdoor weddings, keep in mind floral availability will be a factor as the seasons are changing. 

 

Mid to late November to the end of February you probably need to plan for an indoor wedding. The weather can become quite unpredictable, although there is a small chance you may get snowed in, it’s not likely. But just like non-peak days of the week during summer can offer discount, the off-peak months like January and February are often discounted. Remember just because it isn’t listed on website you can still ask. 

 

Another bonus to winter weddings in Texas, is that venues often plant evergreen trees and other plant life so that it’s still beautiful year-round. Whereas in other states everything will be covered in snow or hibernating. 

 

To recap and try to answer your question as directly as possible there really is not a best, most convenient time to plan a wedding in Texas.   Each month truly has its different pros and cons. We suggest that you make a list of the elements that are most important for you to have at your wedding, such as indoor or outdoor, floral choices, type of photographs etc. and we are certain that will quickly determine the month you will need to choose based on the info above! 

 

As for our direct personal opinion, the answer is NOVEMBER, we believe November is the best! Late fall or winter has a lot of perks and you are correct there is some amazing fall/winter inspo on Pinterest. 

 

We LOVE getting all your questions! Hope our answers help. 

 

Sincerely,

Denton Bridal Show 

 

Have a wedding dilemma or question about planning? Maybe we can help! Whether you are a bride or a groom, MOB or FOB, member of the bridal party or family, or a vendor please send your questions our way and we will do our best to answer them. Contact us on Instagram or via our website contact page

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