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Dear DBS..

What do you do as a bridal party member if you can’t afford the expense that comes along with it? (dress, tux, shoes, hair, makeup, trips, shower gifts)

So, you have been asked to be in a bridal party. YAY! But then the cost of the endeavor sets in, the bachelor/bachelorette party, the shower, the dress or tux, the gas, the plane tickets… etc. You’ve realized you are not sure you can financially cover it. Yikes! Fear of disappointing your friend hits you and now you feel paralyzed. What to do?

Well first off, you are going to have to speak with the bride or groom. We know that in 2019 almost everyone is afraid of any kind of conflict, and texting seems easier (although often turns out to be more complicated) than a face to face conversation. But we promise a face to face is worth it, and you can do this!

The chances are much higher your bride or groom will be able to work with you if your are upfront about finances from day one. And who knows? Perhaps, some of the other bridal party members are in the same position, and now, you have helped them out by being honest. Hopefully, your friend has asked you to be part of the wedding party because you have some sort of relationship, so don’t take that for granted by being dishonest and then letting them down.

Also, if you tell them up front, they will have more flexibility with the choices, such as picking a color scheme but letting each person purchase their own dress or tux. Or even finding an option for everyone that’s on sale. If given the option of finding your own formal attire, you can either rent what you need or search for gently used attire on sites like tradesy.com for WAY less.

For showers - if you are the one planning, don’t be afraid to divide the cost between other bridal party members. There are so many ways to make an event special without spending a ton of money. Focus on the time you are spending together rather than filling your time with a bunch of activities.

Bottom line here, if you can’t afford your part, you are going to have to be honest and let them know you weren’t prepared for an extravagant trip or hosting a shower on your budget. As we always say, communication is key. It is better to swallow your pride and be honest about your financial situation then to risk unmet, unrealistic expectations that cost you a dear friendship.


Denton Bridal Show

Have a wedding dilemma or question about planning? Maybe we can help! Whether you are a bride or a groom, MOB or FOB, member of the bridal party or family, or a vendor please send your questions our way and we will do our best to answer them. Contact us on Instagram or via our website contact page.

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