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Dear DBS....

The Groom’s Family want completely different food than my family for the wedding reception. We may have to have two catering companies and only one prep kitchen. So stressful! My Family does not eat Pork and his loves it. Help?

Well, first, this is more common than you think! Not the two caterers’ part, but the “families having disagreements regarding the menu” part. Unless you and your groom are certain that the families are completely against any compromise, we strongly advise that you come back together as a couple first and talk this out. Like we have said before in other blogs, the decisions you make at your wedding will impact the start of your life together. So, how you make them and where you compromise with each other will have an impact going forward, setting a precedent for how you make decisions as a couple. We know, we know- it feels unfair to put the weight on you, when parents and their money are involved. But, again, you need to understand that family will not be the only obstacle to come up against the unity in your marriage. Your wedding is a great opportunity to determine where you will need to be flexible and willing to compromise in order to honor one another.

All that to say, we know the groom wants pork, but can there be compromise without two separate caterers, lots of money, and a tiny kitchen? We hope so! Especially, if there are religious restrictions involved where serving pork may disgrace one side of the family. If that is not the case, and it’s strictly just that he and his family love pork, then there are a few options for compromise.

You could host a “Cocktail Hour” that promotes an opportunity for appetizers. This way you can have two distinct trays offered as appetizers - one with pork and one without pork, very clearly labeled for guests. Don’t have the space in your itinerary or budget for hors d’oeuvres, offer a small table of appetizers that include pork clearly labeled aside from the meal.

Another option is to choose one caterer that understands the importance of the dilemma and is willing to create a pork option that also pairs with the main meal. Again, we realize the difficulty may be in culture and food type here. An Indian or Kosher caterer may not be willing to add pork to the menu, so of course, this would mean compromising on the type of caterer. We definitely recommend hiring one caterer that could create a menu with both options offered, as opposed to two caterers, due to the small kitchen.

So, what if nothing works, and two caterers is the direction you must choose? Then you need to sit down with each caterer, perhaps even bring them together and present every dilemma. The last thing you want is for caterers to show up not knowing about one another and then trying to share a kitchen. By presenting the dilemma, and even allowing them to see the kitchen and discuss a strategy, you should be able to head off a lot of the potential for issues.

We hope this is helpful to you! As always, we want to leave you with a gentle reminder that the most important thing about the day is that you make it down the aisle. So, get together, talk out your options and remember to be kind to one another. A little compromise goes a long way!


Denton Bridal Show

Have a wedding dilemma or question about planning? Maybe we can help! Whether you are a bride or a groom, MOB or FOB, member of the bridal party or family, or a vendor please send your questions our way and we will do our best to answer them. Contact us on Instagram or via our website contact page.

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