Dear DBS...

What do you recommend for someone who has completely planned and paid for their wedding, but realizes they don’t think they are marrying the right person?

Our advice -FOR SURE DO NOT get married!! No matter how much money you have spent. Our first suggestion, tell your most trusted allies. Explain how and why you are having second thoughts, or how and why you have come to a final conclusion. These allies should be people that know you best; people who will tell you not to move forward if it isn’t right, no matter the cost.

Then, sit down with your parents, grandparents, God parents (whoever paid) and explain that you can’t wisely move forward with this marriage, and if you do, it will most likely end in divorce. Yes, at this point we suggest you be brutally honest and certain. Family may likely be very surprised, and perhaps even go through some disappointment and denial that will be uncomfortable for you. Make sure several people have your back so you don’t try to rethink your decision.. But no matter how much surprise, disappointment, or guilt tripping comes from your family or friends, remember, it is your life that will be changed forever by getting married. If you don’t think this is a wise decision - don’t do it.

Next, review all vendor contracts and check on cancellation policies. Remember, just because it says no refunds, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t explain your circumstances. It never hurts to ask, even for at least a partial refund. Some vendors might make an exception.

If you are less certain you shouldn’t get married, but have more subtle doubts, maybe consider postponing the wedding and getting some pre-marital counseling. There are so many wise counselors out there that can help! It may just be fear of change and fear of the future. Getting married is and should be serious business. That kind of commitment should be somewhat weighty, but not crushing. A counselor can help you separate your emotions and get to the bottom of what you are feeling.

Always prioritize the relationship over financial obligation. We know that seems easier said than done. Getting married out of fear or a desire to please others is a mistake in the long run. And unfortunately, being in the wedding business, we know multiple people who did not listen to their inner voice before they got married, and we have seen the aftermath of that played out. Don’t let that happen to you. Be wise. Get Help. Postpone. Don’t be afraid! You have feelings for a reason.

Sincerely,

Denton Bridal Show

Have a wedding dilemma or question about planning? Maybe we can help! Whether you are a bride or a groom, MOB or FOB, member of the bridal party or family, or a vendor please send your questions our way and we will do our best to answer them. Contact us on Instagram or via our website contact page.

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