Dear DBS, How to deal with sister drama?
My sister is a BIG talker. She says exactly what is on her mind at all times. How can I politely suggest that her opinions aren't "facts" and I should have a say as well? I am sure she will talk badly about my decorations and dress. She also doesn't like the groom because she dated him before.
First, let’s just acknowledge this is a tough one. Family dynamics and emotions running high are always the biggest culprits in creating conflict and stress while planning a wedding, so you’re not alone.
It sounds like you just need to sit your sis down and have a heart-to-heart. There’s no way around it. Let her know that you’re thankful that she’s honest and will tell you what she really thinks because that can be really helpful in planning a wedding. Also, acknowledge the elephant in the room…the groom. Although she might not like him, he is the man you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with, so ask her to respect your decision in this area. Let her know that you want to have a great time planning this wedding, but also mention that sometimes her unsolicited opinion can hurt your feelings.
Also, give her the benefit of the doubt. She may not ruin your wedding by badmouthing your decor and dress. She may be clueless about how this has annoyed you in the past, and once you bring it up, it will clear the air. She will have the chance to apologize and draw closer to you, or you will get the opportunity to draw more firm boundaries.
At the end of your day, the relationship with your spouse is more important than even your own sister. Obviously, no one wants to choose between their husband and their sister. But it’s good to have your boundary lines drawn ahead of time, so you know what you can’t compromise on. It’s your wedding, and you absolutely won’t be able to make everyone happy. It’s ok to say no and stand your ground to maintain your peace. We’re rooting for you and hope everything works out in the end.